Memories That Fade Like Photographs
by non dairy creamer
Summary: Every single time I try to let you go- I fall for you once again. But this time- I have self control.
1. Past Praying For

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

"Wait, Nick!" I ran down the sidewalk trying to catch up to him. Fast boy, I tell you. He stopped.

"Yes?" he asked, turning around. As always, he had a huge smile on his face. He said I had the effect on him.

"You left your phone at my house." I handed him his iPhone and he laughed.

"You probably hid it so you could have an excuse to come running after me."

"Actually, this time, you left it yourself. I was too busy to hide your phone." I smiled at him, his smile was contagious.

He laughed. "Busy doing what? Staring at me?" he joked. We were an odd pair. I was loud and obnoxious, he was quiet and reserved. But honestly, opposites attract.

"Well I just came to give you your phone… the phone... which is in your hand now." His smile never left, nor did mine.

"I should get going, it's late. My mom will be worrying, you know her. Worry monster." Nick liked to use my words. Like worry monster, which was my combination.

"Alrighty. Have a nice night, today was fun." As was every day spent him, though I'd never tell him that.

"Yeah, so, goodnight." He smiled and turned back around and started to walk away. I walked away in the opposite direction.

"Miley?" I turned around and Nick was facing me again. "I love you."

I smiled. "I love you too. Goodnight, Nick. See you tomorrow, okay? It's my turn to come over your house. Twelve?"

"Twelve it is. I'll be looking forward to it. I'll be home alone tomorrow, so just let yourself in. You might scare me to death if you knock." He smiled and turned back around, we both walked away smiling.

I never thought I'd meet someone like Nick. He was something special, my Prince Charming.

We did this every weekend when we were both free (which nowadays was rare). I loved it, it was our time. If we were playing a weird game or just talking, it was our special time.

I truly did care about Nick, I loved everything about him, even his few flaws. He was the peanut butter and I was the jelly, perfect match. And that was probably the cheesiest thing I have ever thought in my life and ever will think.

I smiled to myself as I punched in the code to get past the gate that guarded our home. If I was Hannah Montana in the twenties, we'd have an old mule protecting the house with a sign strapped on him saying "Do Not Enter".

People would listen to the mule. But no, this is now. Paparazzi are mentally insane; they'd kill to get a picture of a celebrity's thumb.

I don't understand why they follow _me_. I mean, I'm Miley. I'm no Madonna or Jennifer Lopez or Beyoncé, for crying out loud. Why follow _me_?

As I was thinking this, I turned around and saw a camera lens in the bushes. How classy. I waved a sarcastic wave and closed the gate.

Tomorrow the tabloids would read "Miley's late night with Nick Jonas." I would bet you cash on that.

I walked up the eleven stairs that led to my part of the house, which was my bedroom. I was surprisingly exhausted. I opened the door and walked in to my bedroom, closing and locking the door behind me.

I turned out the light and got into my unmade bed. I pulled the covers over my head and fell asleep.

-

I yawned and turned over, falling off the bed with a big thud. I got up quickly and blinked a few times. Yeah, I was still alive.

I picked up the covers I took along with me and put them back on the bed. I looked for my bedside clock to see the time, but couldn't find it. Turns out I took _that _with me too. I picked it up and put it back on the bedside table.

It was 11:28 AM, I over slept. I rushed to get ready, throwing on a Metro Station shirt and some random sweat pants.

By time I did that, it was 11:34. I went over to my stack of movies and looked through them. A movie would be nice, I guess.

The Notebook, too long. A Walk to Remember, too emotional. Dora the Explorer, how in the world did _that _get there? I couldn't find a movie at all. I kept looking and finally found something funny: Blades of Glory.

I slipped on a pair of shoes and went down the hall, down the stairs and into the kitchen. Mom was in there cleaning out the fridge which she did every week.

You see, she has Braison as a child. She has to clean the fridge weekly. Once she found a sock in there…

"Morning, Miley." She never turned around from her mission of cleaning the fridge. My mother…

"Ello mom-o." I scanned the pantry for the popcorn. Bingo. "What are you doing today?" she asked.

"Going over to Nick's. It's so great that we both are off this weekend, isn't it?" I smiled, walking out of the pantry.

"Don't be out too late, be home for dinner. Your dad decided he wanted to make chicken nachos tonight and you know none of us want to object to that."

"Oh mommy," I laughed, "I wouldn't miss chicken nachos for Braz in a pink dress. See you later."

"Have fun, sweetheart. Tell Nick I said hey." Mom turned away from her fridge duty to kiss my forehead.

"You work those yellow gloves, momma!" I laughed and walked out the kitchen door, which led right to the gate.

I walked out the gate and it looked like the paparazzi had woken up. How did they even know I was going out?

"Where are you going Miley? Movie night?" One of the guys, Danny asked taking a picture.

"Yup. Blades of Glory and buttered popcorn. Yummy." I laughed. I liked talking to the paparazzi, I actually made friends with some of them. Like Danny, someone said he lived around here, so I saw him a lot.

"Who are you going to watch it with, Miley?" Here come the questions.

"My friend and this popcorn, hopefully an iced tea… I really don't want to make it myself, I hope his mom bought Snapple again."

"His? A guy friend? Who is it Miley?" Everyone started asking and hounding… again.

"Yeah, my friend. Well, this is my stop." They all had shocked expressions.

"This is the Jonas house! Kevin, Nick or Joe?! All three?" Everyone was buzzing now. Thank God there were only like five guys, easy to ask to leave.

"Guys, have a nice day. Please don't try anything." I put in the code to the gate power-walked in and pushed it closed and smiled into one of the guys cameras- face on. "Bye Danny."

"Tell them we said hi!" Danny exclaimed as I walked away. I got up to the door and let myself in, like Nick requested.

He wasn't anywhere around, so I went up the stairs to see if he was in his bedroom. I heard the TV coming from his room. Yeah, he was in there.

I was about half way through the door when I heard a voice. Not Nick's, not the TV's, Selena Gomez's. I decided just to listen and see what was going on.

"Nick, you're so adorable." I could not believe what I was hearing. Then again, everyone thinks Nick is adorable, including me…

"Look who's talking, you're pretty adorable yourself." Now _this_ I couldn't believe. No one thinks Selena is adorable, I mean _seriously_.

I poked my head sort of past the door not enough for them to see me, but enough for me to see them.

They were sitting on the blue couch in Nick's room, cuddled up. I couldn't believe it.

"How adorable?" Selena was such a freaking whore! How dare she, I felt like turning the corner and ripping out her weave.

"So adorable I could just kiss you." No… no... This wasn't real. Nightmare, right? Very funny! I tried to wake up, but I wasn't sleeping.

She moved closer, their lips were almost touching and my tears were almost coming.

"Selena, I can't do this." Nick pushed away and sat back. "It's not fair to Miley."

"Forget her, don't start acting like you actually care about her!" Selena was mad, as well was I.

"Selena, I can't help it. She cares about me, she cares about me a lot. And I feel bad." He should feel bad.

She grabbed his shirt and practically forced herself onto him. But he didn't resist. His hand found its way to the back of her neck. Selena ran her fingers through his hair.

She pulled away. "Never mind about Miley." Nick's smile disturbed me. He smiled as if he actually enjoyed this; breaking my heart. I couldn't take it anymore, the tears were already dripping from my face.

"Nick…" I came into the room fully and Nick put his head in his hands, as if he were going to cry. "I cannot begin to tell you how badly you've just hurt me, you don't know how much I seriously want to injure you."

"Miley, you didn't read my text?" He still didn't look up at me.

"What text?" I was confused now, I never got a text… then again I never checked my phone.

"I told you not to come over, that something came up." He did not just say that. Something came up?

"Excuse me? Something came up? Nick have you lost your mind? How the hell could you do this to me? I thought you loved me… You said you did. I believed you, but you go behind my back and do this? Nick, I trusted you! How long has this been going on?" I screamed.

"3 and a half months." Selena answered for him with obvious pride in her voice.

"Don't you even think you can talk. How could you do this? I know we aren't friends- we defiantly aren't now- but we were getting there. You know how much…" I broke down into heavy sobs. "I loved him." I manage to get out.

The crying was getting worse, it was turning into hysterics. "I can't believe you would do this, Nick." I cried.

It was getting bad, I couldn't help it. I was in total shock. I wouldn't expect this from Nick.

I was crying so badly, I hardly noticed the pair of arms that wrapped around me. I opened my eyes and saw Nick. I pushed him away.

"Miley I'm so sorry. Selena's gone. She's gone, I'm sorry. I love _you _not her. Please Miley, forgive me." He practically begged.

I shook my head. I felt so confused, so lost. Nick was mine for all this time, so I thought. I'd been sharing him with Selena Gomez.

"Do you love me?" What kind of question was that, Nick?

"Yeah." I answered honestly.

"Will you give me a second chance?"

"No." I pushed past him and walked out the door. He ran after me. "Miley, please!"

"No! Just- just leave me alone!" I exclaimed. I turned around to face him once I was down the stairs. "I don't know how you could do this. I'm serious, I'm not only sorry for myself, I'm sorry for you. You don't know what you just lost."

Since I was walking backward, I tripped over a shoe. "Shit. You know what, I'm leaving now." I turned back around and wiped my eyes, trying to look like I hadn't just had a breakdown.

I opened the door and walked out, slamming it in Nick's face.

The paparazzi were outside. Great, I have to face _this. _I prayed that they wouldn't notice as I walked down the steps. This was probably past praying for.


	2. 2 Years Later

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

I walked down the sidewalk that led to the backstage door with my mom. We weren't quite there yet, so the paparazzi were still clearly present. The bigger I became, the bigger they did too. It's as if they never stopped.

Like two years ago, did they hear me screaming at Nick? Because before I left, there were only five guys there. When I left there were fifteen. By time I got to my house there were thirty. _Nick._

I sighed inside thinking of his name. Oh how he disappoints me. "Miley, what's it like performing with the Jonas Brothers for the first time in two years?" Alison, one of the paparazzi guys asked.

Jonas Brothers? Taylor… Think Miley, think. Lie. "It's great, Nancy." I faked a smile. We got to the point where the body guards were. This is where it got crazy. The paparazzi always try to get past, the security people have to restrain them.

"Miley, Miley!" someone called from the group. I decided to answer. "Yeah?"

"Danny got ran over by K-Fed. K-Fed was leaving some bar and Danz was out there. The guy was pissed, he ran him over. He's not dead though." He answered.

"What?!" Mom pulled along. Well that was... interestingly tragic. Danny was my first paparazzi friend.

We went up to the security at the actual door and showed them our passes. What I don't get is they recognize me. Why do I need the pass? They let us in and I waved to the paparazzi. "Bye Alison." I waved. "See you later, Miley!" He shut off his camera and we walked in.

Taylor was waiting there for us. "Miley!" She ran up to me and hugged me. "You found out, didn't you?" She saw my blank expression.

"Miley, I'm going to go make sure everything is right with microphones and guitars and… stuff." Mom walked off. She must have known too.

"Why didn't you tell me? Give me more time to prepare?" I asked sitting down on the ground.

"I thought it'd be better this way. So did Joe." Toe. I'd never say that to Taylor, but I've had my experiences with the Jonases. Taylor and I didn't talk anymore when I found out she started dating Joe.

It really hurt to know someone I was that close to could go and date my ex-boyfriend's brother who abandoned me as did the rest of his family.

Taylor and I's friendship over came that, I didn't like not talking to her for that long. She's been through everything. I could ask her anything, get advice for anything.

She was wise beyond her years; she was like my 30 year old best friend who just happened to be 19.

"Haven't I told you don't listen to Joe? Joe is the one who told me to leave them alone. That was the worst mistake of my life listening to Joe. Taylor, I love you and I'm saying this for your own good. Don't become head over heels for a Jonas. It'll be the worst mistake of your life."

I don't think before I speak most of the time. Now would be one of those times.

She pressed her lips into a line. "Miley, haven't _I _told _you_? Joe is different. He's not like Nick. He'd never cheat on me. I swear." Her voice stayed in a monotone.

"We aren't going to fight about this." I stood up and straightened out my shirt, Taylor mirrored me. "What songs are we singing?"

"As this is a duet thing- I was going to let you pick four songs…" She smiled a guilty smile, she had this all planned. I'd be pissed, she'd let me pick the music. Fair enough.

I didn't even have to think about it. "Should've Said No, White Horse, You're Not Sorry and 7 Things. Please and thank you."

Taylor laughed. "I'm glad you picked those, I already put them down. You're singing 7 Things alone; they told me to ask you what solo song you wanted… 7 Things works."

"You know, I've always wanted to do a duet concert with you. I'm actually extremely excited. And by the way; if I see even a hair of one of those boys I will so-" Taylor cut me off by putting her hand over my mouth. "What?" I managed to communicate.

She pointed to her left, but wouldn't let me turn my head. Finally, I was able to and stopped breathing. _He_ was there. He looked… the same. His face was still the same, his hair, oh Lord, his hair. Nick was right there, he was in reach, but now he was in reach of _her_. The one who took him from me, the one who took him. Selena.

"I'm going to be sick. Seeing them even be 10 feet near each other makes me nauseas. I'm sorry if I'm pissing you off, but I hate them. I hate them with a burning passion fueled by the flaming intensities of the sun.

"I understand completely." Taylor smiled sympathetically. I felt bad if I was making her feel uncomfortable, but she used to be the friend I could turn to for any problem. Now she's my friend, the one dating Joe. She's my friend who's close to his family. Nick.

-

I shook out my hair as Taylor belted out the last line to Picture to Burn. "So how many of you guys are in their freshman year of high school?" She asked the crowd. A good majority of them screamed.

"Let me just give you a heads up. You're going to fall in love and loose love. You're gonna make friends and loose them. It's going to be like the wind has been knocked out of you, like you've died inside. You're going to be stupid and vulnerable, learn from it and move on. You're gonna be fifteen." That was my cue. Taylor started playing and I walked out.

Some people screamed and others held their "Team Selena and Demi" signs higher. I just smiled at them. There has never been a team in my mind. I was friends with Demi, she's a sweet girl.

Selena likes to flaunt things she doesn't really have. Example: her stuffed chest. The one thing she truly had was Nick. Jealously overcame me at that thought.

I sat down on the stool next to Taylor and she winked at me. I started singing my parts, as well did Tay. When we were done, one of the team signs disappeared. I looked at the girl who held it, only to see she was clapping like a maniac.

The power of a song is an invisible, invincible power that can overtake you like a rainbow or like a storm. Beautiful lyrics turn into a beautiful start over, a new beginning every sing time.

"My friend, my little sister, Miley Cyrus." Taylor clapped along with everyone else for me and I smiled.

"Most defiantly unnecessary, but thank you, everyone. I have the honor to perform up here with my best friend, Taylor. She is an amazing song writer, her songs come in handy if you really just listen. They've gotten me through the toughest of times. I'm lucky enough to be able to sing this song with Miss Swift, White Horse. It means a lot to me." I was talking too much, but Taylor didn't seem to mind.

She started to play White Horse on her Koa oak Taylor guitar. As we rehearsed, I began the song. I got a lump in my throat towards the middle of the song, so not rehearsed.

I turned my head and saw _him_ leaning against the wall watching. I closed my eyes to fight back the tears.

"Well I'm not your princess, this aint a fairy tail. I'm gonna find someone someday…" Taylor heard me stop and quickly kept going on for me. I tried to not cry, I tried to not stare at him, I tried not to sing this song to him, but those three were impossible.

I started crying as I stared at him while singing this song right to the guy who broke my heart at only fifteen. I was a train wreck, he was the wrecker.

The song finished and Taylor put her hand on my back. "This song is called You're Not Sorry. Let's continue with our cheated theme…"

I took a deep breath as Taylor started singing You're Not Sorry. I didn't cry this time. I sang back-up for Taylor so that I wouldn't start with the fountain de eye ball.

Nick's face stayed emotionless the whole time. "No oh, oh." Taylor sang the last line and someone came up to her and gave her, her black guitar.

I can get mad at people. If you mess with my friends, my family or myself, I'm gonna write a song about you. Sometimes, that's no good for your reputation. Cheat me or Miley; I'm going to write a song about people like you. Like this one." Taylor shot Nick a glare and began playing Should've Said No.

I enjoyed this, slamming Nick. I decided to make the best of it. I mean, I was in front of 3,000 Jonas Brothers fans. Could this get any better?

We got towards the middle and this is where the fun began. "Cheating. Boys, what's your problem? Don't you ever have enough with just one? She wasn't worth it, boy. She wasn't worth loosing Miley."

Taylor spoke those words but then began singing again. "Was she worth it?" Taylor pointed to me; I guess this was my cue to slam.

"She wasn't worth us. No oh, no, no whoa." Singing that gave me some sort of power- I felt like I could finally get over this. Finally get over us.

Taylor finished the song and I turned my head to see how shocked he'd be, uh, not so shocked. Furious would be more of the word. He shook his head and walked off.

A part of me felt guilty, everything else felt like telling him to shove it up the ass he seriously did not have. Otherwise it would be kicked by now.

"Give it up for Miley!" Taylor clapped along with a few other people and 7 Things started playing. Shit, I forgot.

I wasn't prepared, I started late. I sang my song the same as I always did but at the end I changed it. I usually whispered "I still hate you."

"I still love you." Yeah, there goes my dignity. I just completely dissed the hell out of Nick and then I say I still love him?

I believed all my anger came from my love. I loved Nick so much that I was so angry and shocked he would do that. It's been almost 2 years and I _still_ haven't gotten over it.

Now when he gets interviewed he takes it as a joke. He laughs at our relationship and so do his brothers. And I _still_ love him?

"Thank you guys, y'all have a great night! Enjoy the… rest of the show." I ran off the stage and ran into Taylor.

"Just the girl I was looking for. Miley, I'd like you to meet Justin. Justin, Miley, Miley, Justin." Taylor stopped me and introduced me to a Justin. Well hello, Justin.

Every thought I had about Nick vanished. I froze right in place. I extended my probably shaking hand. I hadn't felt this way since I was 13. I couldn't even speak.


	3. You Had Me At Hello

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

"Great to meet you again, Miley. You were great tonight." Justin smiled and shook my hand.

"Hi, you look familiar... extremely familiar." I couldn't put my finger on it, but I know I've met Justin somewhere before.

"Nashville Star, remember?" Justin looked a little hurt I didn't remember him, but he couldn't blame me, I'm in five places at once most of the time.

"That's right! Well it's nice to see you again." I remembered it now. It was a brief meeting, but we met. I was with Nick then, so really, I wasn't paying attention to any guys.

"_Miley, I'd like you to meet some of the folks in the show." Dad said as he and I walked down the hallway backstage of the show Nashville Star. He was the host, which was pretty cool._

_We turned the corner and all the contestants were there sitting and chatting amongst themselves. Dad walked me over to one guy who he had been raving about for the past few days._

"_Miley, this is Justin. Justin, this is my daughter Miley. Justin writes songs and plays guitar just like you do, honey. You guys could be good friends." Dad was always trying to play matchmaker. _

_He's never been that crazy about Nick. He always says: "The moment that boy breaks your heart I'll sure as hell break something on him." I never knew why he's had little faith in Nick. Nick's a great person, he makes me happy. Isn't that good enough?_

"_That's great!" I smiled and sighed mentally. The day I marry Nick, dad better not still be trying to get me to go out with the caterer._

"He was in my new video. You made it the best, Justin. I'm serious!" Taylor smiled and put her arm around my shoulders.

"I know you were just thinking 'He's Joe! He's Joe!' Speaking of Joe, you still dating Nick?" Taylor's eyes widened and I saw her step on Justin's foot.

"No, I'm not. _He_ decided we should see other people. It was the best decision for both of us." I faked a smile and lied like a rug. Best decision my ass.

"Oh… my bad, sorry." It was obvious he felt bad for bringing up Nick, so I smiled sympathetically and put my hand on his shoulder. "Hey, it's alright."

I heard Taylor start cursing under her breath and turned to her. "Is everything okay over there in Taylorville?" I asked. She didn't answer me; she just looked up at Justin.

"I'm glad you guys met again, it's been nice chatting with you, but we've seriously gotta go. Come on, Miley." She pulled me along before I could even say bye to Justin.

"What the heck are you doing? Where are you taking me?" I tried to maneuver out of Taylor's grip, but she just held on tighter and pulled me along. She looked over her shoulder and then stopped.

"Bug… Big bug… A roach… named Harold." Taylor couldn't lie to save her life. I rolled my eyes. Before I could even open my mouth to speak, someone tapped me on the back. I turned around and saw someone I _really_ didn't want or need to see.

Joe Jonas.

"You're in the way of my girl, kid." I felt like kicking Joe in the balls he doesn't have. Toilet paper would fall out of his crotch. He's an obvious pants stuffer.

I didn't move so he just walked around me. I rolled my eyes as he walked over to Taylor and kissed her. Bleh, that was disgusting to even say. Imagine watching it. Ew.

"What do you see in _that_, Taylor? You could do so much better than a Jonas. Way better. Michael Jackson could do better than him." It just didn't make sense to me. Taylor usually was so much better at picking out guys. But I guess it's true. Love is a _blind_ whore with no sense of humor.

Taylor sighed and looked down. I started to feel bad. I could tell Taylor hated the fact I hated the guy she loved. But I wished she could just see like I have. I've experience first hand what a jerk Joe is.

"Miley, I think it's time to get over it. Nick cheated on you. You don't have to hate Kevin and me because of what our little brother did." Joe hid a smirk, a devil's smirk. Why couldn't Taylor see any of this?

My poor friend was too caught up in the perfect hair and the charming smile and the Jonas eyes… those eyes made my heart melt and break one too many times.

"Taylor I'm gonna go find my mom and get going. Thanks for an… interesting night. I'll call you soon." I tried to smile, but I just wasn't feeling it.

I walked around trying to find my mom when I bumped into someone. I tend to do that when I'm paying no attention and looking down. I looked up and my heart stopped.

I felt like the dog that just peed on the carpet. I looked at him, scared to death. He looked at me, he looked angry. He looked like he was about to scold me.

His look softened to just a straight glare. "Hello." he said with absolutely no emotion in his voice.

"Hey." I could barely even say that, my mouth didn't wanna open. Or maybe I just didn't want to open it. You see, when I diss someone I don't wanna see them… let alone speak to them. I was tongue-tied in this situation. Nick hardly even said anything. He had me at hello.

But this, this was a first. I've never dissed someone so bad then looked at them and felt guilty. Gosh, I hated the fact he made me so freaking confused.

One minute I hate him, the next I love him. He screwed with everything in me. My heart, my soul, my brain… Gosh, this boy just made me so damn confused.

"What you did tonight was humiliating." Nick's voice stayed emotionless.

"Good." I said crossing my arms. "You deserve every humiliation that crosses your path."

"Miley, back then I was young, I was stupid, I-" I cut Nick off with a disgusted look.

"You still are." I snapped. "Let me finish that little speech for you. 'I was young, I was stupid and it meant nothing. Yet I'm still with the whore. I'm a douche bag!' Go a little something like that?"

"Selena isn't a whore. She's a nice, down to earth, beautiful w-"

"Wannabe." Finishing his sentences was so easy even though the words I used were never the same as his.

"Miley, I know why you hate Selena. You're jealous of two things. One, she has me and two, she can find a boyfriend." I could find a boyfriend if I wanted to, but I wasn't over Nick… would I ever be? No, I wasn't telling him that.

"Who said I was jealous? I'm not jealous. I have a boyfriend and he's a _much_ better guy than you." A little lie couldn't hurt right?

"Who is he?" Nick laughed sarcastically.

I blurted out the first name that came to my head. "Justin. His name is Justin."

Nick's eyes widened. "Oh… and where is this 'Justin'?" he asked.

I looked around for Justin and saw him talking to some guy. "That guy." I said pointing to Justin. Nick just laughed. "I'd like to meet him." Something told me he didn't believe me… I didn't believe myself either.

"Um… okay. Hold on." I walked over to Justin and tapped him on the shoulder. I knew Nick was staring at me. "Could I borrow you for two minutes?" I asked with a smile. Justin nodded and told the guy he'd be right back. "Just go along with everything I say and _no one_ gets hurt." I whispered to him as we walked over to Nick.

"Nick this is my boyfriend Justin." I pretty much choked on the word boyfriend. I saw through Nick's mask. He was shocked that I might have moved on. Maybe I did?

"Hi." Justin laughed.

"Um… nice talking with you Miley…. Good meeting you, Justin." Nick gave Justin a look then walked away with a shrug.

"Thank you." I smiled, then walking away.

"Whoa, not so fast there, kid." He followed me then I stopped, turning around.

"Yes?"

"What was that?" he asked.

"I needed a cover boyfriend and you were the first one I thought of. Sorry if it was a bother. I owe you." I smiled then tried to walk away but he turned me around again.

"How come _I _was the first one you thought of?" he asked with a laugh.

"I don't know. Justin it meant nothing. I blurted out the first name that came to my head. Sorry." He finally just let me walk away. I saw Taylor talking to Joe and sighed. She looked over and waved shook her head, looking away. What the hell?

I finally found my mom and begged her to let us leave. I didn't wanna be here with the ex boyfriend, best friend and fake boyfriend who I think wants to be real boyfriend.

All this crap is going to my head. He doesn't want to be my boyfriend; I don't want him to be my boyfriend. Taylor is my best friend. Nick is my ex boyfriend. He's staying that.

Oh hell, why am I lying? Everything is so freaking confusing. With Justin, maybe I could fill the chunk of my heart Nick took. Find something… new. Taylor hates me, I can just tell. I hate her boyfriend. Nick's only with Selena because he thought I moved on...

But I didn't.

**A/N: I'm really sorry. My life is a hectic mess with no cherry on top. Literally. Please don't hate me. Twilight fan fiction will be back… eventually. Stay with me, lovers.**


	4. Too Much

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

I slammed my bedroom door shut and locked it. I closed all the windows and turned off every light. I lit one of my millions of small chocolate scented candles… yummy. I looked around for my cell phone and found it in my pocket.

I dialed her number and heard 3 rings until… "Hi." Mandy hummed with a guilty tone to her little song.

"You knew didn't you?" I kicked off my shoes and sat on my bed.

Mandy's hum stopped and turned into a complete blab. "I… Taylor… She… Secrecy… Pie… Money… Lies… Betrayal… Sex… Cheating… Older women…"

"Mandy. Shut up already! Stop naming stuff from Gossip Girl. You are _not_ Blair and Taylor Momsen's character is named Jenny! Gosh, just get it right already." I sighed and grabbed a notebook from my side table. The pen hooked on it wouldn't come off.

"I want my life to be that interesting though! I mean wouldn't you?" I finally got the pen off and started doodling.

"Let me see if I can match it up. I went to do a duet charity concert. Taylor lied to me. She didn't tell me Nick and his douche bag brothers would be there. She swore my mother to secrecy. She betrayed me by rubbing Joe in my face. Um… pie, money, sex and older women… no. But, cheating! Oh don't get me started on that one…" I was about to go off when Mandy cleared her throat.

"Nick?" she asked with a shocked tone to her voice. "Taylor lied to you about _Nick_?"

"She thought I'd cancel if I knew that they were going to be there. I probably would have… but still. That's just cruel."

"That's so not like Taylor. What has Joe done to her?" My heart stopped. What _has_ he done to her?

I remembered how timid she was around him, she looked like the wrong move he'd… "Oh my God… Mandy… what do you think… I'm gonna call you back later."

"Okay?" Mandy hung up as well did I. What has that little pants stuffer done to Taylor? I laid on my bed and thought back to the good days when Taylor was the Taylor I had known for so long.

"_Miley, Nick is just a phone call away." Taylor laughed as I pouted at the TV._

"_But it's different. I'm here in Nashville and he's there in Los Angeles. I hate being so far away from him. It's heartbreaking." I sighed as I paused the TV on Nick's face._

_Taylor just laughed and grabbed the remote, unpausing the TV. "You'll be home in a few days."_

"_I don't like hearing his voice." I sighed and turned off the TV. "I miss him too much."_

"_Aw! Puppy love is so adorable." She smiled._

"_This isn't puppy love!" I explained. "It's really real. I'm serious. He'd never do anything to throw us away. Neither would I. And that is not puppy love!"_

"_Just watch your back. Something about those Jonas' just… smells fishy." Taylor played with her hands and refused to look at me. _

"_Nick doesn't smell fishy. He smells like Hollister." I got up off the couch and grabbed the phone. "I should really call him…"_

"_You called him an hour ago!" Taylor just shook her head and spread out across the couch. "I like the single life. We in Taylor Town don't need puppy love to make us happy."_

"_Taylor!" I whined. "This is _not_ puppy love."_

"_I know, I know. It's real, it's true love. Miley when I was fourteen I had my first boyfriend. He was perfect and we were 'in love'. So I thought. He turned out to be a total jerk. I'd just hate to see you get hurt. I hope for the best for you and Nick, I just have my doubts. But hey, that's just me. I have doubts about everything." Taylor only wanted the best for me, I knew that deep down, but she was serious about this. _

_Was Nick really that bad?_

I sighed and picked up my phone again. I didn't remember his number anymore, so I had to go into my contacts. I know already, I got it; he hated me for being a "clingy control freak who only liked Nick for his looks".

Where did that come from anyway? Nick was the clingy one until the day we broke up and I saw past the curly head of hair, the smile, the eyes… Shove it, Miley. Shove it already!

I finally found his number in my crowded contact list and hit send. I was not doing this for myself. I was doing this for Taylor.

This guy wasn't one to keep people waiting. He always answered after less than three rings. One… two… "Hello?" Kevin's voice was a familiar one, but also a forgotten one.

"Look, this is strictly business. I'm not looking for a peace offering, an apology or even a conversation. I will not take anything but the truth. You can not hang up on me because I know where you live and I _still_ have a key. So we're going to clear this up and I'll let you go. What the fuck is your brother doing to Taylor?" I was as straight forward as possible.

"What?" Was all he managed to spit out of his mouth.

"You heard me. I'm not stupid and I know how close you and your brothers are. You tell each other everything. What has he done to Taylor? She's a mess. She's just not herself. I'm not calling you as your little brother's ex girlfriend, the slut you hate or the ex little sister. I'm calling you as the scared best friend. So you're going to tell me. Don't cover anything up either. Raw answers… unless it's graphic then ew. Just keep it simple."

"Look, Miley. I know nothing about this 'messed up Taylor' because Joe and Tay are very happy together." Kevin seemed honestly confused about the whole encounter. "I have noticed nothing different then the Taylor I've always known."

Then again, he really doesn't have anything up in the noggin. Stupid _and_ bitchy: what a bad combination.

"The Taylor you know and the Taylor I know are two different people. I'm getting no answers out of you and you're pretty boring. I still don't forgive you. Bye." I hung up on Dopey and threw my phone in my bag.

I really had no interest in talking to someone that brain dead. He turned off the brain ever since his band started meaning something.

To millions of girls they mean eye candy, catchy music and their favorite guys on the face of the earth. To me they mean three ass holes, one skill… heartbreaking.

I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Taylor was going out with such an idiot like Joe. He's more interested in stuffing his crotch then his is in her.

I was loosing one of my closest friends to one of my most missed friends. Joe wasn't always like this. For the longest time he was the bear hug giving big brother every girl could ever want.

But something changed. He became arrogant and cocky and all the fame went to his head. The only thing that mattered was him and nothing else.

He started buying creepy German hair products made from goat's milk and buying skinny jeans from Forever 21. I had heard he went on a no card diet for a week to loose weight. Joe was already skinny.

I missed my Joe. But my Joe was long gone and he was never ever coming back. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to face in my whole entire life.

Taylor is the complete opposite of Joe. She's down-to-earth and the sweetest person I've ever met. She's always thinking of others before herself but knew when enough was enough.

She buys clothes from Target and such and is actually very frugal. If there was a designer bag that looked exactly like the one in a bargain store she'd by the bargain one. That was just Taylor.

I knew Taylor like the back of my hand. But I wasn't so sure who she was anymore. It hurt knowing she was slipping away slowly. It was seriously tearing my soul in two.

I knew I couldn't control this, it was Taylor's life. But I used to be her little sister and little sisters speak up. At least Noah does.

She rats me out every single time she hears me tell someone something I don't want mom to know. It's the little sister policy. I did it to Brandi and Noah does it to me. It's just the circle of life.

Love finds love, love breaks apart, you cry to your friend, who slowly drifts away into the arms of your ex boyfriend's brother, you cry, you move on.

This was too much to handle. I cried into my pillow and erased every thought from my head except one.

Mission: Save Taylor.

**A/N: This one's for you, Autumn. ;]**


	5. Tell Me Why

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

I drummed my fingers on the wooden kitchen table conveniently placed in the… kitchen. I had been sitting here for the past hour trying to build up the courage to call Taylor. Mission so far failed.

Being a coward wasn't going to get me anywhere. Taylor was hurting and I was being too much of a coward to call her. I was being selfish, I was afraid she'd yell at me.

Maybe yelling at me was what she needed. I could handle that. Sure, I'd cry, but if it meant Taylor would be better, I'd cry a river.

But I was a coward, so I wasn't calling.

I heard a small-footed person come down the stairs. "Hi Miley!" Noah sang. She was always so happy all the time. She had every reason to be. She hadn't fallen in love yet.

"Hey Noh," I decided to ask a big favor of my little sister, "Would you mind calling Taylor and asking her what's going on between her and Joseph?"

Noah just laughed and sat across from me. "Yes, I'd mind. You have to face your problems yourself… or stop trying to get into Taylor's issues. I don't know what's going on, but listen here. Sometimes you have to just let God do what he's planned to do. Taylor will be fine, no matter what. She does have you, after all."

"Noah, are you secretly my 40 year old sister?" I laughed. She spoke like she was older than Brandi.

Noah smiled her missing tooth smile. "I'm still a kid though. Remember that before you start to pour your problems on me. That's a hint I don't wanna hear it, Miles." She teased.

"My problems are irrelevant to you, child. You just worry about yourself and what shade of pink shirt you're going to wear today." Noah was always the one with the best advice, but I always felt guilty after telling her something. I felt like I was taking away something from her, not quiet sure what, but something.

"Miley I have a secret." She whispered randomly.

"You know you can trust your big sister!" I whispered back.

"I like Frankie." Her little cheeks got all red and my jaw dropped.

"Not my baby sister too!" I was shocked. "Those Jonas' are heartbreakers, lovey. They either cheat on you or hate your friends or- no. Never mind about them! I'm not dumping my problems on you."

"Are you mad at me?" Tears filled her eyes.

"No! Not at all! I'll never be mad at you, hun!" I got up and gave her a hug. "I'm just telling you to watch your back."

"Are you sure?" She was always wondering what I thought, always wanting me to approve of her. That kid looked up to me, I really don't know why though.

My phone started to ring. It was Taylor. I motioned for Noah to go away and of course, she got up and left. "Hello?" I said quietly.

"Miley." Taylor said, no louder than a whisper. "You were right. He's a jerk, an abusive jerk."

"ABUSIVE?!" I screamed so loud Loco started barking. "Sorry… I mean what happened?"

"A lot happened, Miley. I was stupid, I didn't trust you. He said I wasn't good enough, told me I wasn't a good person, I didn't believe him, but it was hard not to. He told me constantly. He'd repeat it over and over, he'd scream at me for doing nothing. I loved him though, I don't know why, sometimes he'd be nice and make me feel special… like he actually loved me. Then a few days ago… he hit me." Taylor started to cry.

"Tay…" I trailed off in shock.

"And I don't need you to say I told you so because I don't need that right now." She cried. "He said if I told anyone he'd do worse and… I didn't want worse so I didn't tell anyone. Then today he broke up with me because he found 'much better'. He told me that in a twenty-seven second phone call. I have mixed feelings. I'm happy but I'm sad. I really loved him, Miley." And she cried some more.

"I'm sorry Taylor. Does your mom know?"

"NO! No one knows about the screaming and the other day but you and if you tell anyone I will never forgive you. Do you understand?" Taylor's crying stopped when she told me. I guess she was going to be the one crying a river.

"Okay… I know you're screwed on the inside but are you okay on the outside?" I tried to state that as kindly as I could.

"A few days ago my face was still red, but now it's fine. Miley I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made you cry over this. I know Joe and I made you mad and upset, I'm sorry. He wasn't the guy I thought he was. Did I mention he broke up with me for someone twenty-two year old slut? Oh and did I mention that Joe is living his life in sin by wearing a purity ring and banging the whore? By the way, did I mention he was cheating on me for a month?" How was she handling this all being thrown on her? "He also told me he dumped me because I wasn't giving him any. He managed to put all of that in a twenty-seven second conversation."

"I told you those Jonas' were douche bags! Trust me from now on?" I tried to lighten the subject, but it wasn't working.

"Yeah, I'll believe you now." Taylor sighed. "Miley am I a bad person? I tell everyone they don't need a guy to be happy and that they should respect themselves. But I didn't respect myself enough to leave… what's the worst he could do? Kill me?"

"You aren't a bad person at all. Taylor you've gotta learn from what happened, take it and build yourself up from it. You're a wonderful, kind person. A smart person once told me sometimes you've just got to let God to what he's planned to do. Trust it, Tay." Noah really did come in handy.

"I just want Joe to tell me why, why did he do this to me? I'm not a bad person! I didn't deserve it… I'll call you later Miley."

"Alright, I love you!"

"I love you too." Taylor hung up and I sighed. I wanted to beat up Joe. I knew what I was going to do.

I didn't care about leaving a note, brushing my hair or putting on shoes. I was going to Joe's house. Taylor told me not to tell anyone, but I didn't care. I was going to the source of the problem.

I stomped down the street and to the Jonas house. I punched in the code and was granted access immediately. I walked up to the door and knocked. No one answered so I rang the door bell. Still no one answered so I knocked again. "What?!" An annoyed boy asked opening the door.

"Where's Joe?" I didn't even care I was talking to Nick. This was about Taylor.

"Out with Camilla… can I help you?" Nick was a very stupid boy.

"Yes, you can. Go get Joe!" I exclaimed.

"He's not home, smart one. He's out with Camilla. Remember? I just told you that." Nick patted my head and a shooed his hand away.

"Don't touch me you pig." I cut my eyes at him and turned around to walk away.

"Wait! Don't you wanna come in?" I could hear the smile in Nick's voice and my heart broke all over again. I quickly mended it back together and turned around.

"You want _me_ to come in? Ha, and then what? A bucket of chocolate falls on my head? Not falling for it Nicholas!" I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"I'm serious! Do you want to come in?" He seemed pretty serious. Those acting classes had done him good.

I sighed. "Fine, I'll come in, but only for a minute. I don't want to be contaminated with that Jonas stench. You should really bathe sometime."

Nick laughed as I walked in. He closed the door and led me upstairs. Fuck, this was going to be a while.

Nick opened his bedroom door and walked in. My heart stopped. This was the room, the room my heart was broken in for the very first time. I caught Nick kissing Selena in this room, cheating on me.

I couldn't go in there. No, I wouldn't. "Coming?" An out of sight Nick asked. I could totally make a run for it. But no, that voice was so… ugh. I couldn't say no to it, I had to do as it said or I'd hate myself more than I already do.

I huffed and walked through the doorway. The room was the exact same way I left it, all but one simple thing. No one would notice it but me. His tag board was no longer filled with pictures of Nick and I, it was filled with pictures of him and Selena. And I was the one who gifted him that piece of junk.

I walked closer to it and realized it wasn't all Selena and Nick. In the far left corner, ripped on the edge was a small picture of me. It was so small you had to be this close to the tag board to see it. My heart skipped a beat.

Did he still love me?


	6. Dead & Gone

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

"I see you like my tag board." Nick acted as if last week he wasn't a total ass to me.

"It's disgusting. I'm just saying." I rolled my eyes. "Why am I here anyway? I don't want to be."

"Why did you come here?" Nick asked.

"Cause your brother is a total ass hole! If you tell anyone this, I will beat you unconscious, you hear me? Your brother verbally abused Taylor and then he… hit her." I let out a sigh. Nick's eyes dropped to the floor and he sighed as well.

"Who has he become, Nick? Hmm? You said you and your brothers would _never_ let fame get to your head and look what it's done to all three of you! Joe used to be my big brother, my inspiration on life. I looked up to him. But this past year he's turned into the man I never thought he would. He's a complete artificial hypocrite. And Kevin, he prances around like he's the shit. I remember when he used to be the most gracious, kindhearted person ever. Now he's just a bunch of bologna. And… you…. You used to be a good guy. You were a gentleman, a sweetheart, but look what's become of you. You've become an arrogant, selfish, rude and an unreal person. Who and what have all of you become?" Maybe a reality check was what he needed.

"You think since you have girls chasing after you twenty-four-seven it means that the one you _really_ want back is going to fall for you. Well guess what Nick, I'm not. I saw my picture on your tag board. No, I'm not over you, but I will be… eventually. So go finish your dry humping session with Selena and leave me alone. I'm going home." I turned to leave when Nick grabbed my wrist and turned me back around.

He crashed his lips onto mine and I froze. After coming back to my senses I pushed him away and then kicked him in his now not-so-happy place. "What, someone putting you into your place turns you on? Creep." I shook my head and walked out the door, down the stairs, out of the door, out the gate and back home.

What the hell had just happened? I just kissed Nick, acted like I didn't give a crap but then I felt like I was going to puke from excitement.

I cursed myself out silently and kicked myself internally. He has a girlfriend yet my picture is on his tag board and- "Shut up Miley!" I screamed at myself in my head.

I got to my front door and on the porch chair were a dozen yellow roses. I picked them up, assuming they weren't for me. But shockingly they were.

**Thanks for letting me your boyfriend for five minutes the other night.**

**Justin**

My heart went to my stomach and my stomach went to my heart. Now I felt like puking because I was confused. What was going on?

I loved Nick with everything in me, he loved me too, but we couldn't be together. The old Nick was dead and gone a long time ago.

I had this little crush on Justin, but that would soon go away I hoped. I grabbed the flowers and walked inside. I was going to Google Justin. Yeah, that works.

I got upstairs and went into my bedroom, locking the door. I picked up my computer and sat down on the floor. I typed his name into the Google tool bar and a few thousand results popped up.

The first one that caught my eye was underwear model. That's pretty gross. The next few pages we're all about Nashville Star, but then I got to page thirteen, it really made my flesh crawl.

He was charged with a DUI back when he was nineteen. He was twenty now, but not only was it a DUI, he's an underage drinker.

Ha, what a "bad boy". Pretty pathetic that he's an underwear model slash underage drinker slash infamous country star.

I laughed it off and shut my computer. That was probably the fastest crush in history. Put me in the Genus Book of World Records.

I shoved the flowers in my trashcan and got up from the floor. I needed to have a girl talk and I need to have one _now_. Brandi was out of town, this was so not a "mommy and Miley" talk, Noah was only good for the sugar coated stuff, so I picked up my phone a dialed a number without even looking.

Mandy's chipper voice came buzzing onto the voice. "Miley!"

"Come pick me up, please. I have dirt." I sighed.

"Dirt?" I heard her car door shut and knew she was on her way.

"Dirt. Look, Mandy, it's painful, taking-out-the-stitches-too-early dirt." I put my shoes back on and went out my backdoor which lead to the stairs which led to the gate.

"Oh no, not _them_." Mandy hissed. "It's them isn't it, Miley?"

"As always, I'll see you when you get your booty over here. Hurry it up!" I sat down on the porch and waited for Mandy.

"I follow the speed limit, honey. Give me a minute; I don't live that far away." She hung up and I saw her white BMW ride down the street. She pulled through the gate, blasting another one of those random songs she'd like on the radio.

She pulled into the driveway and I walked over to her car. She rolled down window singing. "Don't trust a- hi Miley." She stopped singing Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3 and unlocked the car door.

"We have a couple dozen problems, Shmand." I buckled my seatbelt and banged my head against the headrest.

"Stop it, my car's gonna smell like your hair!"

"Is there something wrong with that? My hair smells like green apple and green apple is delicious." I crossed my arms and stuck my tongue out at her playfully.

"I'm more of a flower scented person." She grabbed a rose-scented air freshener and swung it back and forth in front of my face.

"That stuff could make me blind and then I'd never be able to see your face again." I complained. She laughed and shoved it back into the pocket on her door.

Mandy pulled out of the driveway and turned the radio back on. "So what's the matter?"

"Let's start with the small stuff." I said pulling my hair into a ponytail. "I Googled Justin and he's a party animal who was charged with a DUI last year… and he's twenty. So that's out of the question, so much for moving on with my life."

"And the big stuff?" Mandy asked pulling into the parking lot of our favorite place for girl talks- Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.

"Nick kissed me." It felt strangely _nice_ to say that yet absolutely disgusting. Mandy's jaw dropped.

"He… did… WHAT?!" she exclaimed over the now turned down music. "Nick kissed you? What the hell did you do? Make him love potion brownies?"

"No. Let me start from the beginning once we get inside." I got out the car and walked in with Mandy. Only a couple paparazzi were following.

We got inside and ordered our drinks. As we waited by the side counter to get our drinks, Mandy randomly burped. Everyone looked at her funny. "Sorry." I stated dying of laughter, as well did she.

Everyone in there were business people, so they all looked at us like "stupid little teenagers" as always. Too bad they didn't know Mand was an adult.

We got our coffees and sat down at a table. "Explain everything." Mandy took a sip of her coffee and made herself comfortable, expecting this to be long.

"It's not that complicated." I leaned forward and whispered the rest. "Joe was a complete dick to Taylor, he hit her once. I went there to totally kick his ass, but he wasn't home and Nick answered. He asked me to come in and when we got up to his room I told him off and he kissed me."

"Whoa, back up there. Joe hit her? Has he lost his mind? That's just pathetic. Trying to act like this big man who controls everything by hitting an amazing girl… he kissed you? You had nothing to do with it?" Mandy threw the questions on me like water balloons.

"Absolutely nothing! I told his lanky little ass off and he kissed me. I was all 'what the fuck' mentally, but like, dead in reality." I watched as Mandy guzzled back her coffee as if it were a tequila shot.

"Maybe Nick wouldn't look so lanky to you if you weren't so voluptuous." Mandy was so sarcastic sometimes.

"Shut up." I hissed. "You aren't funny."

"Doo da doo, life's good!" Mandy smiled.

"I wish." I sighed and started chewing on my straw. That's what I did when I was stressed, confused, sad or bored. Bad habit.


	7. Makeup Smeared Eyes

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

Today was a good day. The sun was shining insanely bright, not one cloud in the sky and to put the sprinkles on the cupcake, I had finally gotten over the fact Nick kissed me.

I cried about it, I yelled about it, I lost sleep because of it. But today, I was able to _laugh _about it. He was pathetic. Nick doing that made me realize that he most likely had all intentions of cheating on Selena with me.

I hated Selena for a lot of things; I had no respect for her at all. But I wouldn't wish the pain of finding out your boyfriend is cheating on you on anyone.

Nick can't stay committed in one relationship; you never know who he really loves. Deep down, I knew that _I_ was the true love. But then again, I never trusted this heart of mine; I referred to it as the heart of letdowns.

I'd listen to my heart and do as it said. Everything would be wonderful and exactly how I wanted it to be. But every single time I listened to my heart things went wrong in the long run.

I liked to believe one day my heart would be there for me. The letdown cycle would be over for good. I couldn't see that day anywhere in the near future.

I lounged on the couch and flipped through the channels, trying to find something good on TV to add to my good day.

I had already gotten in the pool with Noah, golf cart raced with Braison, ate a taco with ketchup- there wasn't anything left to do to add to my perfect day.

I settled for E! news, my unhealthy addiction. I used to hate it; they used to talk about me… a lot. They'd cover the scandals, the photoshopped pictures, the dating… Yet I was only fifteen.

That may sound crazy, I'm sixteen now, but I've grown up. I've been through so much in just a year. So much you wouldn't believe.

But they stopped talking about me and decided to start talking about important stuff and good things. I became an addict.

"Breaking tween scene news." The woman seemed a little excited which was sort of creepy. "Taylor Swift has released a new single called 'Tell Me Why'. This will be sure to stir up a scandal. Take a listen."

Taylor's voice came onto the TV. "I took a chance, I took a shot. You might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not. You took a swing, I took it hard. And down here from the ground I see who you are."

My jaw dropped. "Taylor abusing German hair gel using faggot!" I exclaimed louder than intended. Braison came around the corner and started dying of laughter.

"Shut up, dofus!" I threw a pillow at his head and he ducked. "You heard nothing!"

"I just heard the word faggot and your voice and dyed of laughed. Yeesh, calm it down." Braison shook his head and walked away.

I was going to bed, It was only eight, but this week had been stressful. I had been afraid to go outside and ride my bike because he could be out there, my calls were never returned when I called Taylor and I was too chicken to kill Joe…

Then a good day comes around and I end up feeling shitty in the end. When would this ever end? I walked up the stairs at a very slow pace, counting the steps in my head.

I finally got to my bedroom and yawned, opening the door. Concentrating on the floor, I walked into something- or should I say _someone_.

I gasped and looked up. "Why must my eyes have to see such a horrible sight before I go into my much needed royal slumber?" Nick shook his head and laughed at my honest comment.

"How the… When did… How did you get in my room, tiny unimportant bug?" I crossed my arms in frustration. Obviously, this would never end. Ever.

"You never asked for your key back." Nick dangled the key in front of my face and I snatched it from him. "That doesn't give you permission to just come into my room!" I exclaimed.

"Miley I need to talk to you." Nick sat down on my bed and I pushed him off. "Don't act like you can just come in here and sit on my bed. Your ass isn't welcome." I hissed.

"Look Miley, for three minutes, just give me three minutes, let me talk without you interrupting." He did not just tell me to shut up. Okay, no he didn't, but it was close enough.

"The timer starts… now." I rolled my eyes and prepared to let his stupid little unintelligent words slip through my head, leaving no residue.

"I broke up with Selena." He sounded dead, yet alive with pride. "I broke up with her for us, Miley. I'm not over you. Hell, I'll never be over you. I'm an idiotic jerk and I never should have cheated on you. Why I did? I'll never know. I'm an immature, stupid, helpless guy who needs to get the girl- the girl I honestly don't deserve."

Nick got down onto his knees and I let out a loud sigh. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for any pain I've ever caused you, I'm sorry for breaking your heart. Please just forgive me, Miley."

I shook my head. "Just- just go home Nicholas." So much for my letting his words slip plan. Damn those plans of mine, they never follow through.

Nick got up from the ground and sighed. "Sorry I wasted your time." I was fighting back a flood of tears but it wasn't working. Nick could see that I was about to cry and almost started talking again.

"Go home, Nick." I regretted the tone I had just used to kick Nick out, it came out harshly, bitter.

"Sorry for trying to make things decent." He walked towards the door and was halfway out when I stopped him. "Nick, wait."

He ignored me and shut the door. I let the tears fall from my eyes uncontrollably. I always messed up everything; I always listened to this stupid heart.

My heart told me to just let him go. My head was screaming at me, telling me: "Don't let him go, take him back. He loves you!"

So I guess for me it was backwards. People say ignore your head, listen to your heart. I'm supposed to ignore my heart and listen to my head.

I wiped the tears from my face and got into my bed with a sigh. Things would never be sane for me… ever.

-

I woke up to the brightest sun I had seen in a while. I shielded my face with the pillow and huffed. I kept the pillow over my head for the next minute and then got out of my bed.

I went straight to the window and closed the blinds. "Much better." I hummed. I looked at the pillow in my hand and realized it was stained black with mascara.

I sighed and threw it back on my bed. I walked into my bathroom and took a double take when seeing myself in the mirror. Under my eyes were all puffy and my eyes were red.

The make-up was smeared down my face and all around my eyes. I looked disgusting. I cried myself to sleep last night out of complete confusion.

I tried my hardest to hide away my make-up smeared eyes, just to try and prove that Nick wasn't getting to me in anyway at all.

**A/N: Sorry it's shorter, I had a major brain fart and couldn't think of anyting else. I have all of these people reading/subscribing to this story, but I REALLY wanna know what you guys think. So.. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review. I'm begging here. Can I get 5? 6? 4?**


	8. I'm Only Me When I'm With You

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

"Playing song wars with your ex boyfriend isn't going to help anything, Taylor. Tell him he's an ass hole to his face, it's easiest." I told Taylor through the phone.

For the past two months, Taylor and Joseph have been playing song wars. She'd write a song bashing him, release it and vice versa.

When she released her album a couple months back, it was filled with songs secretly about Joe. She just said that they weren't about him, just Forever & Always was.

But I knew that was a big fat lie.

Tell Me Why, White Horse and Breathe were also about Hoe- I mean Joe. "You do the same thing with Nick!" Taylor huffed.

"Why are you always right? Taylor I've got to go… I am at my destination." I stared at the big blue house as if it were haunted.

"Goodbye, little one." Taylor hung up as well did I. I made my way to the front door and lifted my fist to knock. I was about to knock, but I chickened out and put my fist down.

I decided to face my fear and knock on the door. I shut my eyes and began to knock. After a few seconds it started to open. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Is your brother here?" I asked him, staring at my feet.

"Which one?" Kevin rolled his eyes, acting flamboyant, as always.

"Nick." I choked on his name it felt like, but I said it anyway.

"Nick isn't here, he's out with Frankie. Can I help you?" Kevin twirled a piece of his hair. He was in the closet, but he wasn't on the hanger; he'd already fallen off of it. He was crawling out of the closet.

In other words, he was a gay guy with a girlfriend as a cover up. Everyone knew it; they just didn't want to believe it.

"No. How about Joe? Is he here?" I continued staring at my feet, not wanting to face one of the many people who had picked up and left me when I need them most.

"That depends… why do you want to see him?" Kevin wanted to piss me off, I could just tell. Mission: accomplished.

"Kevin… Just let me see Joe or Nick and I wont pluck out everyone of your eyelashes." I glared at him with my daggers of death and he let me in.

"Just don't eat me." He pointed to the kitchen then walked the other way, leaving me to go find Joseph by myself. By time I left, that jerk-face would be sorry. And I promised myself that.

I walked into the kitchen and he was sitting at the kitchen counter scarfing down a weird smelling club. I cleared my throat just to let him know I was there.

He turned around and dropped the sandwich on his plate. "Why are you here?" He asked with a full mouth.

"Swallow and then I'll talk to, alright?" I laughed tossing him a roll of paper towels. All the memories of my once favorite person flooded back. Him always talking with his mouth full and tackling anyone and everyone with a hug if he hadn't seen them in a half hour at the least…

But that guy was long gone, so I shook my head and got back to business. I made a promise to myself I wouldn't break.

"Why are you here?" Joe repeated- clearly this time. His mouth was food-free.

"I need to talk to you about two things." I sat down next to him at the counter and sighed. I remembered all the good times at this kitchen counter and now we were about to talk about why he _hit_ a girl.

"What did I do to you?" I asked with a sigh, "Because every time I come around you get all weird and ass hole-ish. I want my Joe back. I don't know you anymore. No one does."

He didn't answer me; he just took a deep breath. "Miley you don't understand. I'm under the pressure from the record label, Disney, the fans. My life became so hectic so fast and I never had anytime to take a break."

I laughed an un-humored laugh at how idiotic this guy was. "You think _I _don't understand that? One night I was Miley and the next morning I woke up and I was a worldwide sensation. I balanced it because I chose to. You decided to get famous and let if get to your head. You have broken every promise you have ever made. And you still have the nerve to wear this!"

I lifted up his hand and pointed to his purity ring. He was anything but pure now. Ask his unibrow lover. "What happened? I just don't understand how the best person in the world could turn in to this absolute fake."

"Life goes on and people change. You've gotta change to fit the role, kid." Joe laughed and shook his head as if I was an idiot.

"No you don't. You don't have to make people scared of you. You don't have to look like an idiot with those wrong sized skinny jeans. You don't have to change from you. But we're at a point where there is no turning back. You're changed forever." I pressed my lips into a flat line and got up to leave.

"Tell your brother I stopped over. If you want some advice on being a good person give me a call, I'd be willing to help you find your brain." I sighed and walked out of the kitchen walking into Nick.

This couldn't get anymore difficult. "Miley. What are you doing here?" Nick asked with a confused tone and a confused expression on his face to match.

"I came to talk to you, but you weren't here so I settled for that idiot in the kitchen."

"What did you need?" Nick asked, still confused.

"I'm sorry. I was scared two months ago… I was scared to face the fact that I- I still love you. I didn't want to believe myself; I wanted to let you and everything about you go. But without you, I'm not me. You helped me find me and I wouldn't be the person I am now if it weren't for you." I bit my lip, preparing for rejection.

Shockingly, he smiled. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to hear that? No, I don't think you do. I was a complete idiot and I promise I won't screw up this time."

I smiled and realized I was tearing up. "Why the hell am I crying?" I laughed wiping the tears from my eyes. "I guess I'm just that _happy_."

**A/N: Alright, alright. School is stupid, I swear. I haven't written okay now I did, but still. I'M SORRY! I'm sick now so I can write. Aahahahahahahahha isn't that pathetic? Review? Please? IT'LL BE THE BEST MEDICINE! :)**


	9. When I Look At You

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

I had Nick back now and I was content with my relationship with him. We were together and that was that, end of story. We weren't planning on pushing it this time; we weren't going to get sick of each other.

Last time, we spent _all_ of our free time together. I think because of that it made him distance himself and fall into the arms of the worst person to fall to. We needed some breathing room but neither of us wanted to admit that.

Looking back now, I wouldn't have changed anything because if I had, I wouldn't have learned this extremely valuable information. You live and you learn.

Now that I had all of that in the past I had to focus on more important things like helping Taylor recover from her relationship and finding _my_ Joe, not this artificial one the world has made. Now that I had Nick on my side it could be easier.

I sat on the bench in the park with a notepad and a pen. I closed my eyes and let the words flow throughout my head. By time I had opened my eyes, the words had escaped from my head and the paper remained blank.

I had every word I wanted stored somewhere inside this decent-sized brain of mine. But they were playing hide-and-go-seek with me. Evil little bastards.

I just wanted this one song. It wasn't really much to ask of myself. Two verses, a chorus and a bridge. That's all I needed. I needed this song to balance out my thoughts. The whole song was written for me, I just hadn't found it yet.

My phone lit up next to me and Taylor's face came up on the screen. I sat the notepad down and picked up the phone.

"Are you Miss Swift yet? Or am I still talking to the hermit?" Taylor had let Joe get to her and I didn't like that. I also despised the fact she was broken. I didn't like seeing my friends broken or sad.

"Hermit." She murmured. She sounded drained again, un-Taylor-ish. I missed hearing her bubbly, contagiously happy voice.

"Well what are you doing?" Every time she called I tried to be extremely sickening nice even if I was having a very bad day. It was about her at the moment, not myself.

"Playing with a kaleidoscope; you'd think the colors would make me feel less shitty." Taylor sighed. "My life feels like a kaleidoscope sometimes; mixed up in the eye of someone, completely misunderstood. Yet my life looks so different to different people. Completely like a kaleidoscope."

She sounded so down and un-Taylor. It was painful to even talk to her because I knew she was dying on the other end. I used to look at her and see everything I wanted to be. Now I can't even look at her without crying.

One of my best friends was so broken and I could even come close to understand how to help. The only smart idea finally popped into my head and I decided to go with it.

"Tay, I love you. Okay? I've gotta go, but I promise, I'll call you back." I gathered my things.

"Alright, I love you too. I'm holding you to that promise." Taylor laughed. I hung up and I ran home, clutching my notepad.

When I got home I ran inside and put my things on the piano. I started to bang on the keys a little, playing with a few chords and notes. I got a steady rhythm and the lyrics trapped in my head came out onto the paper, finally.

"Everybody needs inspiration," I hummed, "everybody needs a song." I wrote down the lyrics as I sang them. "Everybody needs a- everybody needs a turn? No, no." I scratched out the lyrics I just wrote down and started again.

"A beautiful melody when the nights are slow? No, no, no. Long, yeah, long." I talked to myself a lot in the song writing process. I could tell this was going to be a song to remember.

--

"Yeah when my world is falling apart, when there's no light to break up the dark, that's when I, I, I look at you." I sang along as I played my new song on the piano. I titled it "When I Look At You" and it was written for Taylor.

"When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way home anymore, that's when I, I, I look at you, yeah."

"You appear just like a dream to me. Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me, all I need, every breath that I breathe. Don't you know you're beautiful?"

I repeated the chorus and finished the song, pleased with what I had made of it. I picked up the phone, smiling. "Well, did you like it?" I could hear Taylor in the background blowing her nose.

"Miley Ray Cyrus I love you with everything in me. You are the best little sister anyone could ever ask for and I wish I was there right now to tackle-hug you. Screw Joe. He can go suck his girlfriend's she-dick." I had to take that last part in again.

I died laughing. "You're over him!?" I exclaimed. I prayed she'd say yes, oh if only she would…

"Yes. Yes, I am. I'm over him and no matter how much he begs, if he ever does, he can kiss my ass because personally, I don't give a flying rat's booty about him." Taylor sounded like my Taylor again. The bubbly, matter-of-fact, sarcastic big sister I had always known.

"Look kid, I've gotta go, sound check for that one charity event. Thank you for making me feel better. I'll talk to you soon. Bye hun." The phone went dead. The second I hung up, it started ringing again… but I had a different ringtone.

_My _ringtone, "Fingerprints" by Katy Perry had turned into "Birthday Sex" by Jeremiah. "BRASION!!!" I screamed so loud it hurt my own ears. "STOP FUCKING WITH MY PHONE YOU IDIOITIC LITTLE SHIT HEAD OF A RODENT!!!"

I looked at the caller ID and of course, he had only changed the ringtone for Nick. "Hi." I sighed, getting up from the piano and walking around in a circle.

"Hey. I'm just going to spit it out. Miles, I haven't told my family we're back together, they just think they're going to be meeting my girlfriend tonight at dinner and…" Nick trialed off and my jaw dropped.

"Nick!" I whined, "Why wouldn't you tell them? It's been almost a month. What, they think you're not with me? You're just with some mystery girl?"

"Pretty much. Miley I'm sorry. Let me explain. They think you were the bad guy in our situation because I was an ass and told them untrue things. So my parents sort of… don't know I cheated on you. I'm sorry." I huffed and tried to stay calm, as pissed as I was.

"What time is dinner?" I sighed. So I guess this was my warm welcome back to the Jonas family.

**A/N: I am so sorry. Do you guys hate me? I haven't had internet for a couple weeks and my life has been insane. I'm never doing this to you again. I love you!**


	10. Anywhere But Here

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

"Do I really have to go Nick?" He pulled the refusing-to-go-me down the sidewalk and kept apologizing every five seconds. He better be sorry.

"Are they going to say I look like a whore? Cause I'll go home and change into a sweater…" That was about the fifteenth time I'd asked that. I had on a yellow dress that wasn't short, but wasn't long either.

I was really just looking for an excuse to go home and lock myself in my room eating Twinkies and crying because I didn't understand why my boyfriend's family hated me.

"Miley, chill, you'll be perfectly fine. Just be yourself. You're the same exact girl they fell in love with three years ago." Nick tried to reassure me, but I honestly wasn't buying it.

"I'm not exactly the same exact girl… I've been depressed, I've been vegetarian for a day, I've had a picture scandal, I've lost friends, and I've gotten my nose pierced… The list continues, but I won't bore you." I sighed and slowly walked up the stairs leading to Nick's front porch.

I closed my eyes as Nick opened the front door. "Come on, Miles. Everything will be fine, I promise." I gave him a dirty look and walked inside.

He grabbed my hand and took me towards the dining room even though I was chanting under my breath, "Please don't make me go, please don't make me go." Nick ignored me and continued down the hall. It seemed much longer today.

We got to the dining room and I was staring at the floor. I couldn't face them, it'd be impossible. "Is that…" Kevin trailed off. "Miley!" Frankie exclaimed. Well at least _someone_ was excited to see me.

"Nicholas…" Denise sounded annoyed, I mean, I so would be too if I was her. She thought I was a complete slut who cheated on her son. But that's all Nick told me, I'm sure she thought more than that.

Joe walked in with a bowl of broccoli and almost dropped it. "And I thought it was the broccoli that smelled." He muttered. My Joe wouldn't have ever said that, at least, not meaning it.

"Well you might as well sit down." Kevin sighed and then pouted his gay pout like he was oh so pissed off when he really wasn't. He's such a drama _queen_.

I sat down next to Frankie because he was the only nice one, Nick sat next to me. I looked down at the plate in front of me and then decided to start a conversation.

"How's soccer going, Frankie?" I turned to him and smiled, I missed him. He smiled too and pointed to the giant gap on the side of his mouth.

"I lost it when someone kicked me in the face!" He was actually proud of loosing his fang tooth to a sweaty kid with dirty shoes and a bowl cut. Well there's a nine year old boy for ya.

"Good for you! Play hard or go home, right kiddo?" I extended my hand for a high-five and heard Joe laugh and mumble, "That sure is your motto." I took a deep breath and looked at Nick, then back at the plate.

"So," Denise sighed, "how have you been, Miley?" She was obviously trying to be the bigger person by talking to me. She honestly didn't have to, I didn't mind.

"I've been alright. Really hard past two years, I've gone through some stressful stuff, but I got through it." My smile felt like it came out artificial, and it probably looked that way. Denise just nodded. Way to make me feel awkward.

This piercing silence hurt, but Denise broke it. "Nicholas I'm just going to say it. Why in the world didn't you tell us you were bringing _Miley_ to dinner?" She said my name with this tone of disgust that hurt.

"Because you're acting like you are right now!" Nick held my hand under the table to try and let me know it'd be okay. Bull! "Mom, I'm seventeen. I don't need you telling me who I can and cannot date."

"Well maybe you need me to tell you who to date so you won't keep coming back with this slut!" My heart sunk, I felt like I had just been stabbed two-thousand times repeatedly in the chest.

"MOM!" Nick, Joe, Kevin _and_ Frankie all exclaimed in union. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed, getting up to leave. But Nick wouldn't let me go.

"Let me go, Nick." I muttered. He wouldn't let go, so I settled in just sitting back down again, fighting back tears.

"Look," Nick sighed, letting go of my hand, "mom I have a confession… I- I lied and I lied really badly… M-Miles didn't cheat on me; I cheated on her… for three months. And then one day she didn't get my text saying don't come over and saw me and… Selena." Denise had her head in her hand now, Kevin's jaw was dropped and Joe had taken Frankie out of the room a while back.

"Miley, honey, I am _so_ sorry. You have no idea at all how many untrue things I've heard that I was silly enough to believe. Nick how could you? We've raised you better than this! And the fact you've lied about it for two years makes this even worse! Do you have any idea what you've put into our heads these past years? That Miley was the cheater when it really was you? And again Miley, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Mrs. Jonas." Nick tried to wipe away the tears that ended up coming out anyway, but I moved his hand and wiped them away myself. I didn't feel like having him touch me, I was annoyed at him.

"Miles, I'm sorry too." Kevin smiled sympathetically. "Do you want any?" He asked pointing to the bowl of broccoli Joe had brought in earlier.

"No, thanks, I think I'm gonna get going." I slid my chair out and stood up. I felt like I had been there a day even though it had only been twenty minutes. I was ready to leave and just go home.

Nick got up to take me home, but I put my hand on his shoulder and sighed, "You don't have to walk me home."

"Are you sure?" He asked. I just nodded and straightened out my dress. "Thanks for having me." I smiled to Denise, and then I left.

When I was half way to the gate I heard the door shut. "Miley wait up!" Nick caught up with me. "Are you alright?"

"Peachy."

"Honestly Miley, you sure you're okay?" I stopped walking and turned to him, an annoyed expression on my face.

"You expect me to be okay when your mom calls me a slut and you lie to your family about cheating on me for _two years_?" I asked bitterly.

"You've gotta see where I'm coming from!" He pleaded like the true sissy he is. "I had no other choice!"

"You had plenty of choices, Nick. If you haven't noticed, I'm not in mood to talk to you right now and I just wanna go home. So if you wouldn't mind leaving me alone so I can walk home in peace…" I was just so confused.

Nick cheated on me.

Then he betrayed me again by dating the girl he cheated on me with for two years.

Then he lied to his family (excluding Joe) by telling them I was a whore who cheated on him.

And now he wants my forgiveness.

I just walked away from him. I had no idea if I had walked away from us; I just needed to go anywhere but here. I couldn't be around him anymore.

Current status: Nick Jonas makes me want to vomit.


	11. 6 Months

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

So that was the end of me and Nick. I haven't talked to him in a little over six months. It was best for both of us. Well, for me anyway. I've met a new guy, he's everything that Nick _should've_ been. His name is Travis.

Nick is girlfriend-less which is clearly karma. I hope he realizes now that karma is a bitch, so don't fuck around with her. He tried to call me the first couple months, and I ignored him. He gave up after maybe three-hundred calls.

I admit, I didn't want us to be idle in any type of relationship, but it wasn't my fault. He decided to lie about things, which totally put us on hold and now, I'm not interested in being anything with Nick, even if it was just friends.

My phone started buzzing and I ran to it, knowing Travis had planned to call me around this time. I picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey." I sat down on my bed and picked at my nail polish. "What's up?" Travis didn't answer, I just heard a sigh… and Travis never sighed.

"You picked up." _Nick_ smiled on the other end, I could just feel it. "Miley let me explain. I can't live without you!"

"Then why aren't you dead yet?" I spat harshly.

"Miles don't be this way. We don't have to be like this, we could be together again. We could have a fresh start!" Nick begged, he was pathetic in my eyes and I wasn't buying it. He disgusted me.

"I was stupid enough to let you back in before and look what it did to me. I thought you were a good guy but I give up. I don't wanna be with someone I can't ever trust. You lied to me. Liars disgust me and I don't wanna be with one." I stood up and straightened out my shirt.

"You should have thought of me when those lies were falling from your lips. You should have seen my face every time your lips found their way to Selena's. I don't hate you, I forgive you. But I'm forgetting you and all the pain you've caused me. And that's all I have to say, so long, Nicholas." I hung up the phone and sighed.

I didn't like being a bitch to him; I didn't like being a bitch to anyone. But he messed with me; he made me want to be a bitch to him. So he deserves every bitch that passes his way. He better have learned his lesson, girls hate liars and cheaters and backstabbing boys.

I dialed Travis' number and waited for him to pick up. "Hey babe," he greeted me in his peaceful voice that calmed me automatically, "what's up?"

"Can I come over? I need some cheering up. Nick's an asshole." I put on my shoes, knowing what he'd say and grabbed my purse.

"Of course you can. See you in a couple." The line went flat and I walked downstairs to my car. I unlocked the door and climbed in, starting my hybrid up. I loved that I could drive, it was yet another form of complete freedom.

The roads were smooth, unlike my life. It was one road I could ride where everything was flat, straight with the occasional _healthy_ turn for the better. I loved driving and having a license, because now I could drive without parental supervision.

I drove to Travis' house in silence, thinking, I guess. I got to his family's big salmon colored house. That colored represented Travis' family so well. They were all so creative and outgoing. Travis' parents were easy going.

They believed that if their children wanted to try something, they might as well get it over with and realize they hate it. And they were right every time. Travis tried wine at eleven and hated it. His older brother, Stephen, asked if he could smoke a cigarette at fourteen and he tried it with his mother (who smokes an unhealthy pack a day), and realized he hated it.

They were good parents, no matter what anyone said. And they've raised their kids extremely well. They have manners, they're polite, they believe in the Lord, they don't dress like hookers (unlike Nick and his sluts of brothers) and they have respect for the opposite sex.

I got out of my car and walked up towards the oak wood door. Before I even got there, Travis had opened the door with his trillion-dollar-smile on his face. He made me smile. He made me feel genuinely happy. I smiled too.

"Hey there." He put his arm around me and led me inside. "So what happened? Nick called you and left you yet another message on how he can't live without you and loves you oh so much and all that bull?"

I nodded and laughed. Travis had a way of making the most horrible situations humorous. "He didn't leave me a message though. I answered thinking it was you." Travis just shook his head and laughed.

"Silly little Miley. You look at that nifty invention they call the caller ID!" He said in his weirdest nerd voice. I just rolled my eyes and fled to his kitchen. His little sister, Annie, was sitting on the kitchen counter watching a poptart cook in the toaster.

I loved that kid.

"Hey Ann." My words caused her to look up and smile. She always had the most colorful smile. It might just have been the random colored braces on her teeth, or her colorful personality coming through her smile. I'll stick with the braces.

"Miley, oh how you disappoint." Travis frowned. I gave him a confused expression, unknowing of what I did to "disappoint" him. "You said you needed cheering up and you just came here to eat my food."

"You poor thing." I laughed sarcastically and hugged him with a kiss. "Take it upstairs, pervs." Annie rolled her eyes and looked back at her phone. She managed to tell us off and text while eating a poptart… all at the same time.

Travis poked her and left the room, I followed him out of the kitchen. There was no hitting in his house, just poking, just normal, non-violent shit like that.

Travis and I didn't have to be all lovey-dovey-lets-make-out to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We were more like those friends with benefits. But then we'd be friends that were _way_ pushing the benefits.

You see, we didn't have to be like that. But when it did get the lovey-dovey-lets-make-out stuff, it wasn't a joke. It was way deeper than if two friends were kissing. So it's sort of pushing the benefits.

I still think benefits are stupid. If you like someone, date them. Big fucking deal! Hell, never mind about the benefits. We are dating, we are boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers (**A/N:** not necessarily needed but I love that word so much and in this context it just sounds creepy, but oh well) even.

The things I thought about while kissing boys were just plain strange.

Once I thought that I needed to cut my toenails when I was kissing Nick. That's just proof we _weren't_ meant to be. I mean toenails? At least I think about Travis when I kiss Travis, not my toenails.

I came back to reality and wondered how long Travis and I had even been kissing without me even noticing. I smiled into the kiss for no reason. There was just one simple explanation.

Travis Greene made me happy.

**A/N: Hi. That took me long to update, sorry. I skipped a book report this weekend so I could finish this. So I think I'd be polite if you reviewed… just saying.**


	12. Talk Is Cheap

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

I sat at the head of a long table, older men and women filling the seats. Producers, executive producers, fashion designers, set designers, light and sound people, you name it, and they were there. And it was intimidating being above of _all of them_.

They were all there to hear _my _ideas, I called the shots. Everything about this tour was created by one-hundred-percent Miley. Of course, I didn't set the budgets, salaries or handle any money. I left that to grownups.

I just said what I liked, what I didn't, crap like that. I also had say on whom my opening act was- my older brother's band, Metro Station. No boy drama there, just my older brother and his _older_ friends.

But there was one thing I had no say on. God's way of making no one able to be two places at once. I wanted to be everywhere in the world, entertaining the people who have stuck with me throughout this hell ride, and I wanted to be here in Cali, holding hands with Travis.

It was basically being with thousands verse being with one, not to mention one very special one. I picked the thousands. Yes, I loved Travis, but I loved my fans too.

I knew the tour could put a major strain on our relationship. I mean, four months apart, he could be doing _anything_ back home while I was gone. But I had to think otherwise, I knew my boyfriend was a good guy, an amazing guy, he wouldn't do that.

I shook the thought out of my head and l snapped back to reality. "Miley, what appearances do you have within the next couple of weeks?" one of the producers asked.

"Well I have two award shows, a premiere and I think that's all. Why?" I slouched in my chair, but it still didn't comfort my nerves of leaving for four months.

"Clear it all. Never mind, we'll get someone to do it for you. We're setting up press conferences around California promoting the tour! It'll sell out the rest of our tickets, raise more money for the charities we're working with, it'll be perfect." The same producer said as he wrote down names and numbers from the lady sitting next to him's phone.

"And instead of reporters asking questions- it'll be all the fans. It'll be strictly tour and album questions, with a few about Hannah." Another producer said. I nodded and smiled, agreeing with their suggestion.

I had no say in the press and publicity either, so it was up to them to say yes or no, I just thought it'd make me look better if I pretended I actually give a shit.

"But what will this do for the other states and Europe? This is an international tour and what'll it do to just sell out California?" A lady asked, she had a clipboard and a coffee cup. Very official, m'am, very official.

"We'll screen the press conferences. Get satellites and rent out small theatres, let everyone have a chance to ask Miley a question." Someone suggested. That sounded nice.

"Scratch this _all_! We'll get Miley in a room for a couple hours, her answering questions from kids all around the world. She'll promote the tour, kids will be able to ask questions right at home. It'll be just like her past Q and A's. It's easier for Miley, the fans and our wallets. Sound good, Miss Cyrus?" a producer shot out at us.

"Yeah, it sounds great. Much easier for me, I don't have to go place to place getting asked the same questions over and over. Thanks." I didn't understand why I was even here; all I did was sit and text Mandy under the table. All our planning was over, rehearsals were starting and it was just press from here on.

But of course, they had to clear everything with me because I was the person they were controlling like a robot. Be here, do that, sing this, don't sleep, you have rehearsals for five hours!

It was all so stressful, but when it came down to it, I was doing what I loved and I couldn't complain. So I sat through it and thought about how fucking rad the next couple months would be.

-

After hours of bickering and fighting between producers and executives, it was all over for the day. I was home in my bed watching television. That was my personal paradise.

My phone started buzzing and I groaned because I didn't want to lean over and grab it. But being the not-lazy-me, I leaned over and grabbed my phone, sliding it open. "Hi love." I greeted my Travis who was on the other end. "How are you?"

"Someone's in a good mood." Travis laughed. I smiled, I loved his laugh, it made me feel happy. "You wanna get something to eat?"

"Ugh, I am not leaving from under the covers. I've been at board meetings all day, so fucking stupid." I sighed and sat up, turning down the TV.

"Chinese take-out it is. Should I rent a movie?" Travis knew me like the back of his hand. It was Friday after all. We usually got dinner and saw a movie. But tonight, I was just not up to it.

"Yes, Chinese, yum. Don't waste your money; we'll just watch A Walk to Remember… again." I laughed. Travis agreed and said he'd be over soon, and I told him don't keep me waiting. And then I hung up. Our basic conversation.

-

I waited about an hour, Travis came and now it was maybe an hour into the movie and I was still eating dumplings. "This part is so sad." I said with a stuffed mouth, it just came out like "Dis par it fo flad."

"Miles," Travis laughed wiping my mouth with the blue napkin from the Chinese place, "it's called not talking when your mouth is full."

"Well sorry I'm just as obnoxious as a fat Tootsie roll! I mean why the hell do you need the different sizes? There's the long skinny one, everyone likes those. Then there's the regular ones, they're just regular. Then there's those 'why the hell are you so large' ones that are just weird. Then there's those little ones like 'way too fucking small' and I don't get why they have to be so small and… No! She just died! And I just missed it. Rewind." I grabbed the remote and rewound it to the part where the lady dies.

I think I'm crazy.

"I think we need to take you to a mental institute. They're really nice… they have long sleeved jackets and squishy walls and…" I cut Travis off with an evil glare he just shook his head and laughed.

"It's not funny." I said holding up a dumpling with my fork. "Don't make me hit you with it. Rawr."

**A/N: This is short and my greeting is late. Happy Halloween.**


	13. Trusted

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

I pulled my hair into a messy bun and yawned, then leaning my head on Travis' chest. "Is this movie almost over?" I asked. He just laughed and kissed my forehead. He was into old movies; I was into any type of love story. But this was our policy when watching movies. I pick one, we watch it, then he picks one, we watch it, movie night is over. But he liked old mafia movies.

They creeped me out. I mean the blowing heads off and shit. But then one would come along and it'd turn into a mafia-love story then I'd partially enjoy it. But today, it was just pure pow-pow-bam-bam! I only watched it because I knew I'd miss it.

Four months away from Travis wouldn't be easy. He could break up with me two seconds before I left, or halfway into the tour, or through a text or worse, he could be like all my other boyfriends (Nick) and cheat on me with a slut (Selena).

After all, I was a douche bag (Nick and Justin) magnet according to Mandy. And I agreed with her educated theory because it was true and I couldn't deny it. I mean Nick- the ultimate douche bag and Justin- the ultimate manwhore were just there and didn't seem to go away or leave me alone.

But the douche bags I attracted weren't douche bags in the beginning. Nick was the best thing that had ever happened to me, he was the perfect guy (so I thought). Justin was so sweet, he sent me flowers, and he was my hopeless romantic (so I thought). And now I had Travis who was everything I've ever wanted and more. I really loved him.

So as you can see, I can't radar the douche until after. So I'll just have to wait to see if Travis was a mistake (which I doubt). I looked up from my hands and the ending credits were on my TV. I couldn't tell you what happened in the first scene.

"You liked it?" Travis asked, turning off the TV. "Yeah… beautiful scenery." I said sarcastically. The whole thing was pretty much in an alley, so beautiful (sarcasm). Travis' phone started buzzing and he reached to grab it, but I got it first. I opened the text message, thinking nothing of it.

_Hey babe, wanna hang out tonight, have some fun?_

My heart stopped. Babe? Who was calling _my_ _boyfriend_ babe? Who the fuck was asking him if he wanted to have some "fun"? "Trav…" I trailed off with a sigh. "Who is she?"

He eyed me, "What are you talking about, Miley?" he asked me, I shook my head and laughed an un-humored laugh.

"Don't you act like an idiot because you clearly aren't. Who is she? Who's the bitch who texted you 'hey babe, wanna hang out tonight, have some fun?' I should have known you were just like everyone else! You're just as bad as Nick!" My eyes filled with water, threatening to spill over.

"Why? What is it about me that makes everyone think its okay to cheat on me?" I questioned. "Get off my bed." I didn't want him near me, he stood up.

"Miley do you honestly think I'd cheat on you? You really think that little of me?" Travis seemed hurt, that's when I realized- maybe he _didn't_ cheat on me and this girl was just a whore.

"I-I don't know. I can't trust anyone anymore. I tried and now I don't know what to believe." Beep! Wrong answer! Travis shook his head and sighed.

"You could've trusted me, Miley. She's my brother's friend. She's like a college cougar- I've told her millions of times 'no, I have a girlfriend' and she keeps sending me the same damn text and I _ignore her._ You could've trusted me, Miley. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. Trust is the main key to a good relationship and if you don't trust me then, Miles, I'm sorry that you don't. Maybe we should see other people and you can figure out how to trust again. Maybe that's best for both of us, love."

I sat there, the tears falling from my face, I was fighting back hysterics. I trusted him, I did. But he'd never believe me after me just accusing him of cheating and going all psycho-bitch on him. I just let the tears fall and nodded, "I'm sorry, Travis. I do love and _trust_ you, but I understand, you don't think I trust you anymore."

Travis wiped my tears away with his jacket sleeve. "Please don't cry. You're going on tour in two days, I need you to trust that I'll stay faithful for the four months you're gone, but I just don't feel that you trust me. I understand how much shit Nick's put you through, but that doesn't mean you can't trust someone who would never, ever, ever do anything to hurt you, ever. And yes, I love you, I do, and I think maybe its best for _you_ if we take a break for right now while you go on tour, maybe the trust thing will level out." Travis Greene…

I was still crying. "I'm sorry I'm a psychotic mess. I understand where you're coming from- it's just so hard to let you go and Travis I don't want to. I still wanna be your girlfriend, I still want you to call me just to tell me you were thinking about me, I still want you to call me and tell me about your day, I still want you to tell me you love me and miss me, I still want _you_. So please don't do this, Travis, I don't think I can handle it." I cried. "I love you."

"And I love you too. That's why I've gotta do what's best for you. I'll call you tomorrow." He kissed my cheek and grabbed his phone. "Bye Smiles." Travis left the room and I let the hysterics set loose.

Travis had just left me for my own good, and I didn't see the good in it. I was leaving for an international tour in two days, I had a Q&A tomorrow and it was going to be obvious I've been crying for the next week.

-

I blew my nose for the fifth time in the past hour to try and sound not as snotty. I couldn't breathe out of my nose. I was about to go on camera in a couple minutes and I couldn't look crazy. I put so much make-up on today, I looked semi-normal.

The Q&A was- well a Q&A. Same questions, same responses, blah, blah, blah. I didn't even car about it, to be honest. I wanted to go home and eat ice cream for the rest of my life. When I left the conference room, my phone started ringing.

Travis Greene was calling me, and for the first time, I was petrified to answer the phone.

-

**A/N: Yes, it was short. But I wrote this in like, two hours to just post it and get my ideas out. Review and let me know what you think. I love you!**


	14. Happy

**Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.**

"H-h-hello?" I stuttered into the phone. I sat down on the floor outside of the conference room and took deep breaths, occasionally forgetting to let them out.

"Hey there Miley how was your Q&A?" Travis asked as if nothing had ever happened, as if we were still a happy, lovely, beautifully perfect couple. "Everything go good love?" My heart melted when he called me that- only because every time he did it made me truly feel loved.

"It was okay… Travis we need to talk about things. Could I come over?" I stood up from the ground and walked back in the conference room to grab my things.

"See you later, then. Come over whenever- I'll be here." The phone went silent and I walked out the door. The thing about being able to drive is that my mother didn't have to take me everywhere, and my publicist came with me to Q&A things then left when they were done, leaving me to drive home with complete control.

I got into my car and drove to Travis' house. I choked up thinking this would be the last time I'd see this house in a while. In a long, long while. The conference room was a block from Travis' house, so the drive wasn't long. I climbed out of the car and started to drag my feet along the pavement.

I tripped over a rock.

"Well fuck you too, rock. At least I'm not grey, sharp and lifeless." I kicked the rock to the grass and sighed. I was never one to be a bitch- especially to a non-living object- but I had to admit, I was being a bitch.

I rang the doorbell and Annie answered. "Hi Annie, where's Travis?" she just nodded, gave me this weird look and walked away. Was she mad at me or something? What had I done to her? I shrugged and walked upstairs to Travis bedroom, where he most likely was.

I knocked on the door and waited for a reply. "Come in." Travis said quietly. I opened the door and half-smiled. He looked annoyed at first, but then he smiled, God, that smile. I bit my lip and went to sit down next to him. For the first time, I felt uncomfortable around him and I knew that wasn't right.

"What's with the emo lighting?" I asked referring to the dimmed lights and closed blinds. Travis smiled again, and I couldn't help but smile too. The uncomfortable feeling faded but came back when the silence dragged on. Approximately three gay babies were born during the awkward silence.

"You wanted to talk about things?" Travis broke the silence with that, and I pulled my knees to my chest, I got extremely nervous.

"Yeah, talk about things, right. What happened last night…" I trailed off. Travis put his arm around me and pulled me into a hug. I let out a sigh because just by that, Travis told me not to worry about. Just by comforting me like that.

"Forget about it, Smiles. Cheer up." Travis held me tighter. "You don't need to stress before tomorrow. And if you do, and I'm the cause- well that's just not good."

"I'm not stressing about tour, I'm stressing about _trust_. I try to trust you, but I can't trust anyone anymore. What if I come home and find that somehow you cheated on me? I know it wouldn't happen but seriously, things happen. Where are we going to stand when I come home? Where are you gonna be when I come back?" I fought back the tears.

"I'll be right here."

-

It was six in the damn morning. I was boarding a plane at LAX, leaving my home to head off to Oregon. I'd be back in a couple days- but Travis would be gone to New York for the week. So I'd come back home to no Travis.

"Welcome to flight number twenty-six to Portland, Oregon. Please buckle your seatbelts at this time." I buckled my seatbelt and leaned back, I didn't want to leave it all behind. But sometimes, being who I am has its disadvantages.

I have to leave everything I have behind at random times. But I got to meet a bunch of different people everyday when I was gone.

I had to trust Travis, and believe he'd be faithful to me because deep down, I knew he would be. That was just Travis Greene- the guy I loved.

No matter how many times I had been hurt, I knew that I would always be able to turn to him. He was no Nick, but he was a hundred times better.

I had found the one, and I was happy about that. I was happy because of him. He made my happy. I was _happy_ for once instead of hurt.

And I loved the feeling.

-

**A/N: Yes, this is really short _ending _but I wasn't going to over do this. Anyway... Thank you to everyone who has stayed with this story no matter how long it took me to update. Hopefully you'll stick around- I have bigger & better things ahead. I love you!!!!!!**


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